A Calmer Back to School Routine
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the heart of the matter
After a late summer that seemed to Last. For. Ever… my kids finally returned to school this week. There have been some adjustments. My little one is in a wheelchair (see last newsletter), so that demanded some work and adjustments. My husband and I have a schedule for one of us to be at school with him every day for the first two weeks. My older one and I kept up a new tradition of getting their hair cut and colored in a salon. They may wear sweats to school but the hairdo will be doin’.
As we prepare for the joy and grind of weekday ritual, I’m reminding myself of the habits, tricks, and tips that have worked for us in the past. Here’s a list of things that can help you keep calm and composed as we slip into autumn.
1. get ready first
Want to be like one of those chill moms getting their kids off to school without raising your voice above a gentle reminder. Yah, she doesn’t exist. BUT, a big part of morning distress is the result of getting ready at the same time as our kids. In the past I would say try getting up 15 minutes earlier, but now I find that it’s really about putting that screen down earlier. Stop responding to emails, checking Slack, or reading political news (spoiler alert: the race is still tight) early enough to be fully ready to leave the house 10 minutes before go time. This way you can be fully present with your kids as you nudge, cajole, and direct them through their paces.
2. special time
The start of a new school year can be overwhelming for everyone—especially your little ones. It’s time to recommit to Special Time. Here’s a primer if you need it, but the basics are:
It’s one on one time. One parent, one kid. It should be every day, but solo parents with multiple kids - you can alternate days.
It should last 15 - 20 minutes. 10 is fine in a pinch..
It should be scheduled, sacred, and around the same time every day so that your kiddo knows when to expect it.
Your child chooses the activity.
You give your full attention to that activity. Find a space away from other family members. Put your phone away.
Regular special time will work wonders in helping your kid feel belonging and significance. Many of their challenging, attention seeking behaviors will greatly diminish.
3. the magical hook
Install a hook at your child's height for them to hang up their clothes and school bag for the next day. If there are sports or activities, those clothes or equipment go in a bag on the hook. Everything is prepared on the hook the night before, so it takes away the scrambling, and panic of I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!! Plus, you can finally reclaim the floor space that’s usually a fashion battleground.
4. written schedules
Kids thrive on routine (even if they pretend to hate it). A written schedule that they can check off can do wonders. Use pictures for kindergarten and below. Post it on the fridge, and watch as they start to take ownership of their tasks. Bonus points if you add a little star next to completed tasks—because who doesn’t love a gold star?
5. healthy meals
"Back to school" is code for "back to lunch-making." Aim for balanced meals that’ll keep your little scholars energized all day. Throw in some fun snacks too! Engage your kids in their healthy meal preparation. Each of my kids is responsible for preparing one healthy dinner per week (we do a lot of pesto), and this Sunday, my 13 yo will start meal prepping his lunches with me.
6. last snack 90 minutes before dinner
I serve dinner at 6:30, so the last opportunity for a snack is at 5. This ensures my kids come to the table hungry. Sometimes I’ll put out some veggies before I serve the main dinner. If they fill up on snap peas or baby carrots… winning!
7. no-screen Evenings
Implementing no-screen evenings during the school week. At our house, all screens are off and phones are put away from 5pm until dinner is eaten, bath is taken, homework is done, special time is done, and everything is ready for the next day (remember that Magic Hook!). We aren’t perfect with this - my 13 yo is screaming for his phone as we speak - but keeping this family norm keeps us moving through our evening milestones and sometimes even finding quality time together! You might even catch your kids *gasp* sharing something about their day!
I’d love to hear your Back to School hacks! Email me at ed@villagewellparenting.com
Here’s to a successful, stress-free back-to-school season. Remember, you've got this—and if all else fails, there’s always coffee and chocolate. Lots of chocolate.
we’re obsessed with
I’m developing a new course to support intergenerational healing for parents. Be on the lookout for more info next month. I’m reading Break the Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buqué for research and it’s fantastic. It’s clear, powerful, and each chapter has activities and journal prompts for personal application. For those who want to engage their woo woo side, there are even QR codes for Sound Bath meditations. Highly recommend!
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Ed Center, the founder of The Village Well, is a parenting coach and educator certified in the Triple P method. The Village Well is a community of parents in BIPOC families, focused on attaining more joy, calm, and meaning in family life. We coach parents to prioritize their own healing and wellness, deepen connections with their kids, and learn tools to support better behavior. Services include Parenting workshops, Parenting courses, and community events. Our support is culturally-grounded support and honors your unique family. Ready to stop yelling? Schedule a free consultation with one of our team members.
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