Morning Cup of Calm: Dads in June
the heart of the matter
Today is the last day of first grade for my youngest. He’s ecstatic! I’m conflicted. The cuteness cut-off happens between first and second grade. Those little, cuddleable, creatures bouncing around like confused penguins in the early school years, evolve into something else by the time they are eight. They are more self-assured, able, independent. They are more resolved, tribal, and less likely to fall into your arms for no reason.
It’s June. In addition to long days, PRIDE, travel, and expensive day camps, this month marks the passage of time. More than December, June feels like a culmination, a transition, a steadfast period at the end of a paragraph.
On a June day several years ago, I sat on a pool’s edge with my feet finding cool respite in the water. My seven year old nephew sat on my lap; we traded jokes about “deez nuts.” I wondered if it would be the last time he sat on my lap. It was. This nephew graduated from high school last week.
This June, I’ll have my brand new second grader at home for a week. I have no idea what we are doing with him. My husband and I both have work. Amidst the stress and noise of summer child care, I need to remember that my snuggle nugget is growing up. I need to get my hugs, cuddles, and nibbles in. I’ll make time to play the lazy horse, where he gets on my back and I walk a few steps before collapsing into a nap. I’ll repeat our favorite joke where I yell STEAM ROLLER, and roll over him over and over again. It’s the only summer I have where my baby is seven. I’ll remember to make the most of it.
In honor of both summer’s arrival and Father’s Day, I asked a diverse group of dads and father figures what their favorite family summer activity is. I love these ideas, I want to do them all.
We love walking in the beautiful outdoors of Georgia, picking fresh figs, enjoying a drop of honeysuckle, and hunting for frogs.
Phillip (he/him) is dad to Finn (9, he/him) and co-parents with Asha (they) who live in Atlanta, Georgia, and enjoy making vegetarian sushi on a hot summer day.
The kids are teens now, so activities take more prodding. When we can find a movie we all want to watch, going to the theater is a great outing. Strong AC! Reclining chairs! A bar in the theater! Going for ice cream after a movie is the best part.
Joseph and his husband Adam have raised Joseph’s nephew and niece since they were 7 and 5.
Our favorite summer activity is anything with the pool, water or mud.
Carlos is dad to Amelia 5 and Carlos 3, and husband to Melissa. They live in Oakley, CA.
My favorite summer activity with my daughter is to pack up everything we need for the day and bike to a park with a splash pad. We bring a picnic, our swim stuff, and lately some tools to explore nature. On our way home, we’ll often stop for ice cream or froyo and we always share our flavors. I love getting a good bike ride workout while hanging out with my kid. Maya is currently mastering the balance bike, so I hope that by the end of summer, we’ll be taking bike rides together on separate bikes!
Zak is a trans man who is dad to Maya (3.5) and husband to Jenny. They live in Portland, Oregon and love going to parks where Maya is mastering climbing all the things.
Summer is acai bowls, strolls along the beach, getting on our bikes and skateboards, and staying up late. My daughter and I are both June babies, although she's very much a Gemini, and I'm a devout Cancer. We always visit chosen family in Honolulu. What I appreciate about our travel is that it offers us a break from routine; both a blessing and a curse. Routine offers stability and comfort. But breaking from routine, while at times can be wild and fun(!), can also lead to momentary meltdowns. Working with the families at The Village Well Parenting, I'm better in tune with my daughter's body language, and even have the tools now to equip the both of us with vocabulary to express when we're feeling overwhelmed or need a break.
Adam is Dad to Annaliese (age 9), and they live in Daly City.
Happy Father’s Day, Happy Pride, Happy and safe summer to all!
we’re obsessed with
Tomato watermelon gazpacho. I love to show up to summer parties with this stunner of a recipe. It’s always the highlight, and it’s so easy to make. Use the freshest ingredients, and don’t get all healthy and skip the creme fraiche.
Ayeesha Rascoe is the host of Weekend Edition Sunday and Up First on NPR. I love her poignant journalism delivered in a charming and unabashedly Black style. I feel like I’m getting my news from a smart, informed, friend. Here’s one of my favorite interviews.
where we’ve been
Whoa! I did four different workshops in four days as part of the San Francisco Department of Children Youth and Families Summer Learning Conference. The workshops were:
A Healing Circle
Supporting Spirited Kids
How to Stay Calm When Your Kid is Not
Adapting Activities for Kids with Disabilities
Thanks for your partnership, DCYF. Here’s a highlight video!
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Ed Center, the founder of The Village Well, is a parenting coach and educator certified in the Triple P method. The Village Well is a community of parents in BIPOC families, focused on attaining more joy, calm, and meaning in family life. We coach parents to prioritize their own healing and wellness, deepen connections with their kids, and learn tools to support better behavior. Services include Parenting workshops, Parenting courses, and community events. Our support is culturally-grounded support and honors your unique family. Ready to stop yelling? Schedule a free consultation with one of our team members.
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